By Tim Falconer
Provinces are easing restrictions and the country is opening up again. That’s great news. Adapting to life in isolation wasn’t easy. But looser social restrictions and re-opening business mean our life is changing once again. And that may means facing a new set of worries. These include how to maintain physical distancing in public and how to stay safe in the workplace.
If you’re feeling anxious about these new challenges, you’re not alone. Many people are going through the same thing. They are wondering how to adapt their habits and maintain their mental health in check as the world reopens To help address some of these concerns, Lumino Health’s Patti Annable hosted a webinar called “Managing Anxiety as the World Re-opens.” The panelists were:
Dr. Melanie Badali, a clinical psychologist at Anxiety Canada
Dr. Leorra Newman, a clinical psychologist at MindBeacon
Dr. Katy Kamkar, a clinical psychologist at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH)
How do you know if what you're feeling is anxiety?
We feel anxious when we overestimate a threat and underestimate our ability to cope, says Dr. Badali. The pandemic has increased the uncertainty in our lives. And anxiety really loves uncertainty. Since it is a future-oriented emotion, we have lots of “what if” thoughts. These include:
What if I get COVID-19?
What if my loved one gets COVID-19?
What if I lose my job?
When we can’t predict, and can't control, what’s going to happen, anxiety sets in. But anxiety is normal and adaptive. It's our brain's way of sounding an alarm so we prepare to deal with danger.
Our ancient physiological responses to threats are to fight, flee from danger or freeze and hide. But with the COVID-19 pandemic, we can imagine danger everywhere. And our ancient responses aren’t helpful.
The flight response is avoidance, says Dr. Newman. Running away from the danger feels good in the short term. It reduces the uncertainty by reducing your contact with what’s scary. But in the long term, it can keep anxiety going. With the fight response, people are more irritable, more restless and become frustrated more easily. The freeze response leaves people with a-deer-in-headlights feeling. They are paralyzed by all their worries.
What can you do to cope with your anxiety?
Instead of fighting, fleeing and freezing, Dr. Badali suggests, you can say, “Thanks, brain, for the alarm. Here's what I'm doing to deal with this danger.” Your plan may start with basics such as:
Washing your hands frequently
Maintaining a two-metre distance from others
Wearing a mask
Developing an exercise routine such as a daily walk
Sticking to a healthy diet
Taking advantage of telehealth
When does anxiety become a problem?
Anxiety is natural and helpful. But it becomes a problem when it interferes with your day-to-day life. As Dr. Badali says, “Anxiety can really get in there and start bossing you around.” To avoid this, Dr. Newman recommends regularly taking your “anxiety temperature.” Check that your usual coping strategies are working. Also, watch that you’re not reaching for unhealthier coping strategies. These are quick fixes that feel good in the moment. Maybe your alcohol consumption has increased or you’re over-eating. She suggests not waiting until your anxiety becomes a problem to seek help from family, friends or a professional.
How to recognize anxiety in family and friends
Dr. Newman also urges people to look out for family and friends. Perhaps they’ve adopted unhealthy coping strategies. Or maybe they’ve become obsessed with coronavirus coverage on the news or social media. You may also notice that they're looking for reassurance or asking a lot of questions. High anxiety can also lead to sadness or a feeling of hopelessness.
Keeping the social connection going with others is important. So is maintaining an open dialogue about mental health with your friends and family, for everybody's sake. If someone close to you is struggling, maybe they just need someone to listen to them. Or perhaps a socially distant walk with you would do wonders. If the conversation is open, you can get your cues from that other person.
Children, especially young ones, may not have the language to express their thoughts and feelings. So their anxiety may come out as a tummy ache or a headache or “I feel sick.” Keep an eye out for such signs. Parents can also model healthy coping for their kids, though Dr. Badali admits that’s sometimes easier said than done.
Many people are frustrated that they can’t visit aging parents. Dr. Kamcar points out that we don't need to be physically close to someone to show our kindness, love and support. She says to never underestimate the power of reaching out. So keep up those phone and FaceTime calls.
How to build resilience
Resilience is adapting well in the face of adversity. It isn’t something you’re born with—or without. It’s a skill. And one you can develop. Dr. Badali encourages people to think of resilience like a muscle that you can strengthen. One way to do that is avoid the tendency to judge yourself, says Dr. Kamkar. She suggests catching any negative thoughts and putting them in perspective. Identify your positives and praise yourself every day. Set achievable goals for yourself. Some examples include:
Spend some time on a work project
Send those two important emails
Go on your daily walk
As new priorities emerge, you can revise your expectations and set new goals.
Dr. Kamcar also recommends you focus on the here and now. One way to do that is stop and think about what’s around you. What do you see? What do you smell? What do you hear? It’s also helpful, throughout the day, to focus on your breathing. By slowing it down, you will slow down your nervous system as well.
Finally, Dr. Kamcar stresses the importance of self-compassion. That’s our relationship with ourselves during difficult times. The first step is to recognize your range of thoughts and emotions so that you’re not afraid of them. But don’t over-identify with them. You want to put them into perspective so you reframe them. That will help you move forward.
The second part of self-compassion is self- kindness. The kinder you are to yourself, the better care you will take care of yourself. That will make you more opened to other people, allowing you to be kinder to them. It will also reduce your tendency to engage in self-judgment.
We learn at an early age that when we fall down, we have to get up, dust ourselves off and keep going. Dr. Badali says we should do that mentally as well. But we don’t have to get up right away. We can stop, take a breath and centre ourselves before planning what to do next. She sees the pandemic as a great opportunity to practice and build our resilience.